Here’s a quick snippet from The Lesbian, the Bitch, and the Bathrobe. In this scene, Lily has been exploring a strange world on the other side of a magic doorway she discovered in her closet. She is a shy girl — insecure and awkward — but begins to gain some confidence when she notices the mysterious elf, Cumnus, is hot for her in a major way.
“I must offer an apology,” Cumnus said while fussing with a set of heavy, round shutters on one of the windows. “I did not anticipate receiving company. As it happens I am ill prepared to offer proper hospitality. I have been known to brew a palatable jasmine tea on occasion. Would you care for a cup?”
“That sounds lovely, thank you,” Lily said automatically. She didn’t have the least interest in drinking tea. She wanted to tell the tall, handsome elf to forget the pleasantries and just throw her on the floor and fuck her brains out. That was not, however, the sort of thing Lily was able to actually say. Not out loud. No, when she opened her mouth her well-trained manners took over. Her mother would be proud, Lily thought ruefully. She resigned herself to waiting while her gallant lover brewed tea.
“Excellent,” Cumnus said eagerly. He pushed open the shutters and dazzling sunlight filled the small cabin. “It will be but a trifling matter to ignite a small fire.”
“Oh, my gosh,” Lily exclaimed. They were finally high enough to look out over the
surrounding forest and the view was amazing! She could see for what seemed like hundreds of miles. All around the canopy of trees stretched out like an emerald green ocean. To the left was the jagged, snow capped mountain range that she had seen when she first came through the closet door.
To the right, past the edge of the forest she could see the glassy waters of a small lake. The puffy white clouds and clear blue sky reflected back from the still water like a mirror. A little village clung to the far bank, surrounding an immense castle with a dozen turrets and towers and spires. Past that were miles and miles of undulating hills ending in a glimmering blue streak onthe horizon that must have been a sea or an ocean.
“It is a magnificent sight,” Cumnus agreed. “But not half as beautiful as you, lovely Lily”
“Aww,” Lily felt the blush rise to her cheeks and put a hand over her smile. “I’m … I’m not. Not really.”
“It is true, my dear!” Cumnus exclaimed. The elf took Lily’s hands in his own and gazed at
her intently. “I would write an epic poem extolling your beauty! Stand here but a moment that I might retrieve my lyre!” He dropped her hands and glided to the other side of the room where he opened a large and ancient looking chest and rummaged around inside.
“That is so sweet!” Lily cooed. No man had ever tried so hard to impress her! She wasn’t sure she deserved such devotion, but it was a delicious feeling. It made her feel special. Desirable. Even Nigel, her smooth talking former lover, had never made her feel that way. He had manipulated her into desiring him – looking back the manipulation was obvious – but had never shown any particular desire for her.
Not at all like Cumnus! The elf was tall and devastatingly handsome, but still he treated Lily like she was the most alluring girl in the world. He thought she was beautiful! He was going to write a poem for her. Who does that? Nobody does that! All to impress one silly girl, who had been racking her brain trying to impress him. Maybe, Lily thought, she was more in control of this situation than she realized.
“That would be nice and all,” Lily said coyly. She was feeling a bit bolder. “But isn’t there something else you’d like to do?”
“Certainly,” Cumnus dropped a shiny golden harp back into the trunk and rushed to her side.“What do you desire? Just name it and it shall be done!”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Lily licked her lips. Did that look sexy? She hoped so. Time to kick it up a notch! Better do it quick, before you chicken out, she told herself. With one shrug she slipped her shoulders out of her bathrobe and let it fall down to her waist. The soft, pink fabric dropped away and her breasts were fully exposed. Cumnus stared with eyes wide. Was he disgusted by her pale skin? Was he looking at her soft tummy? At her pudgy arms? Lily didn’t know. But he definitely wasn’t looking away.
She slipped her hands out of the sleeves and the robe dropped to the floor in a heap of pink fuzz. There she was, not wearing a thing besides her glasses, in a strange place with a strange man. She should have felt vulnerable, defenseless. Instead she felt great! She felt sexy and powerful. She was as turned on as she had ever been in her life. She felt wanton.
“Maybe you could think of something?” she suggested with a little smile.
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